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When Carrie Stallwitz relocated to Houston from Kansas City four years ago, the year-old says she had almost everything she could want: a solid marriage, two healthy young daughters, and a career as a freelance public relations consultant. So what could be missing? Well, close friends. While she had a tight-knit group of pals back in Kansas City, Carrie has yet to find any girlfriends in her new town.
For Carrie — and for many women — forging new adult friendships can feel as dreadful as dating. But she hasn't given up.
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After her daughter's birthday party recently, Carrie decided to send out an to the other moms who attended. I think it takes work to cultivate new friendships. Carrie's right: It does take work to find new best girlfriends. And it can feel especially tough when you're juggling your career and your family and you no longer have the luxury of aimlessly hanging out with people for hours like you did when you were younger.
But if you're willing to reach out, you can find a new partner in crime. The stories you'll read over the next few s are proof — these 13 women all found a best friend or two!
Let them inspire you to do some soul mate-searching of your own. Lori MacGregor had some acquaintances in Los Angeles when she moved there a few years ago, but no close friends. And while her social calendar quickly filled up with invites for lunch and coffee, it wasn't until about five months after her move that she realized she needed more meaningful relationships, friends she could count on in an emergency. And I didn't feel like I knew anyone well enough to ask for help.
And then all of a sudden I realized: This was life.
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She soon found her makeshift family in L. About a year after she moved to L. One night in Februaryafter a series of "We should meet in person! Nicole Blum was one of those people. At the group's second meet-up, at Nicole's house a few weeks later, the two women clicked. Nicole invited her along to parties and brought soup to Lori when she was sick.
Now, two years later, Lori says that their friendship is "less about what we have in common and more that our lives are intertwined. Kristen: "I'd been living in Austin for a year with my 4-year-old son, but I still didn't have any close girlfriends. Then one day, in SeptemberI went to a concert. I met Sarah at that show — she and her friend were standing right in front of me, and her friend was dancing wildly and kept bumping into me.
Each time, Sarah would turn around and apologize. I told her I didn't mind; we were all there to have fun. Finally, Sarah introduced herself, and after the show we started talking about where we lived in town. We really hit it off.
She'd just moved to town too, and we both said we needed to meet more people, so we exchanged s.
I had no idea if I'd see her again; I just thought, She seems great, it'd be fun to hang out. Later that night she called me, and we made plans for that week. If she'd waited longer to call, we might have forgotten about each other. But that was a year ago, and now we're inseparable. We have dinner once a week, hang out on weekends, and talk on the phone every day. Sarah: "At the concert, I remember thinking, Wow, this girl is so cool — she doesn't mind at all that my friend is invading her space!
Kristen and I connected right away. My memory is a little different, though — after the concert, she called me first; I remember being surprised that she actually followed up. I think we both felt casual about it, like there was no pressure since we didn't know each other well yet. But when we had dinner that week, it felt like we'd known each other forever.
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I'd assumed I would pick up where I'd left off with my high school friends, but most of them had either gotten married or moved away, so I didn't have anyone in my same situation — single and professional — to hang out with. After spending a bunch of weekends alone when I first got here, I thought, Okay, that's enough — I have to make new friends!
Then I spotted Andrea on a mutual friend's .
She lived in Austin, was the same age, also Hispanic, and into outdoor activities and concerts, just like me. She seemed more like a professional than someone who just wanted to go out and party.
Back in New York, I'd constantly networked for my job, so it didn't feel awkward to write her a note. I figured, What have I got to lose? I messaged her out of the blue — saying that I'd seen her on our friend's profile and it seemed like we had a lot in common — and she actually wrote back, which honestly surprised me.
Someone else might have thought, Who's this random stranger ing me? But I think it's because she was new in town too and also looking for friends. We started to about our jobs and what we liked to do around Austin.
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After that, she'd ask me to her and her boyfriend when they went out, and I'd invite her along to work events. We both love to see live bands and check out new movies and restaurants, and we're both really close to our families.
We always joke that if one of us were a guy, we'd be the perfect couple! She's the closest thing I have to a sister; now we even live together as roommates. Andrea: "I've always been kind of shy, and I work long hours, so even though I'd moved to Austin four years before Irisa ed me through MySpace, I still hadn't made a lot of close female friends. My friends from work are all a bit older than me and married with kids; I didn't have many single women my age to hang out with. I remember being impressed that Irisa felt confident enough to send me a message, even though we'd never met.
We started talking back and forth. She asked me about my job and where I lived and what I did for fun; it felt a little like online dating! We had a great time hanging out, and from there it just evolved. We're both passionate and opinionated, and because she's more outgoing, she's helped me come out of my shell. I'm so grateful she came along; I was starting to feel so lonely here and discouraged that I hadn't found any close friends.
I think of her as equal to one of my sisters. And yes, we do joke that we'd be the perfect couple!
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When Kate Lichter quit her job as a meeting planner in to freelance from home, she felt lost without her office pals. My husband tried to be supportive, but sometimes I needed to vent about him — and then I was out of luck. Where could she meet new women? She remembered the yoga conference she'd recently planned for her job; those women had all seemed to befriend one another. Maybe something like that would work for her, she thought.
So even though Kate had never exercised before, she ed the local gym — it would break up her day, help keep her fit, and possibly introduce her to new girlfriends. Kate loved how the changing room was full of supportive women. In kickboxing class, she met Debbie Bedell — who'd also recently started her own business. The two women quickly realized they had a lot in common: They're both moms, and they both run their companies from home.
Today, after two years of workout dates, says Kate, "I feel like I can tell Debbie anything. We've kept our friendship to just us girls; we haven't brought our husbands and kids into it. Kimberly: "Eight years ago, I was working to hour weeks at my marketing job in Seattle. I had no time for a boyfriend, but when I did have some free time, I wanted to get out of the house.