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About me

It amazed me how Wallace simultaneously managed to thrill and enrage so many people with her words.

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At the time, she was brilliant, gorgeous, unapologetically black, and dumbfounded by the state of feminist and racial politics in America. Wallace questioned this phenomenon, particularly as it occurred at the height of the black power movement in Frankly, I found this confusing.

I was enough of a slave to white liberal fashions to believe that two people who wanted each other had a right to each other, but what was this all about? It all seemed strangely inappropriate, poorly timed.

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What did the black man want with a white woman now? We are on the precipice of a social revolution in the United States. Black folks are fed up, rallying the call of BlackLivesMatter at protests all over this nation. I feel compelled to give the disclaimer that I am not opposed to interracial dating.

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However, similar to Wallace, I raise an eyebrow when certain justifications, fundamentally rooted in racism, are given to justify a preference for one race over another. Some white women were quite blunt: They wanted [black men sexually]. Black women in Madison exhibit an unrelenting loyalty to Black men in dating and relationships; even though that devotion is not always reciprocated.

April Kumapayi grew up in Sun Prairie and had her fair share of options for non-Black men in that community, but she did not develop any authentic connections with them. Sabrina Madison, a champion for Black love and relationships, also has love for the brothers.

There are a few Black women, like Kira Stewart, who are open to dating non-Black men. The United Nations has come in and out of my private life.

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I have dated Spanish men, Europeans. However, Stewart takes a more serious tone when it comes to the motivations men of other races may have when pursuing Black women. Are you genuinely interested in me or do you have jungle fever?

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Am I exotic? Is it something for you to check off? For the Black women that I spoke with, it is imperative that non-Black men have a degree of social consciousness in relationships.

The conversation and connect with us:

Given what Black women endure by nature of existing in this country, it is perfectly reasonable for us to want our partners to provide respite from it all. Angela Fitzgerald sums up the sentiment. I would hate to have to deal with the world then come home and further have to explain why something feels taxing for me or draining for me. Black women in Madison know that Black men date non-Black women.

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We get it. Interracial dating in and of itself is not the issue for most of the women I interviewed.

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However, when brothers use their relationships with non-Black women to demean or shame Black women, conflict arises. Kumapayi finds it frustrating when brothers gloat about their relationships with non-Black women. What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to fight with someone of a different race over you to get you?

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She believes the dynamics of relationships in the city itself, as well as mainstream media stereotypes, play a role in who these men value for their dating options. After a few years of dating in Madison, some Black women begin to feel undesired.

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The mainstream media and the hypervisibility of relationships between Black men and non-Black women in Madison compound these feelings. We are too loud, we are too much, so we try to contain ourselves. Obama, from her commencement speech at Tuskegee. Initially, she fretted, but eventually, she found the answer to dealing with her haters. I had to ignore all of the noise and be true to myself — and the rest would work itself out.

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